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jesusisa_supperbean
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Name: Jenny-aka jen o' jelly be
Country: United States
State: Minnesota
Birthday: 5/17/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: *I like to act
*art is very nice (lol, cool)
I* I like drawing and painting
Expertise: Most should know that I am not a great expert at many things, but I am good at forgetting things and trying my hardest.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
Member Since:
12/20/2004
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| I realized that I realy hate it when people are control freeks. I mean I knew that when people got overcontroling that it got anoying but I never realy thought about how much i realy dispise it till now. I mean when people try to control everything, it makes others feel like they are not good enough to do anything. I mean take my dinner for example. I was trying to make eggs for me and someone I knew ... . names will be excluded..... and this person kept critiquing every little thing that I did, until finaly I said do you want to cook them? that person was like yeah kind of ... so I was just like fine do it .... and walked away .. only to hear her say that htey werw runny and such, even though they are not done yet.. I was like you know what if you dont' liek them then throw them out and start over. I mean it wasn't like I was doing anything to this persons standards anyway... THen this person decided taht they were not huhngry and didn't even make any for themself and that made me realy mad ... becasue a.. they need to eat and b... if youwere not gong to make any for yourself then you should have left my cooking of my eggs up to me...... ugh it makes me so fusterated to not do anything right... I got that enough fromhome do I realy quite frankly need it here .. NO .... I realy hate the fact that I think that way about everything but it is just how I am. I am sorry if I got short tempered about he whole situation but it is in ever aspect of my life .... EVEN when I am doing MY job and I am the only person who is doing that JOB not anybody else.. This person will tell me that they are not done right or that theyar enot done good enough ... and then I will have to sit there and take it from that person because they are higher up in the job force.... ( no its not a real job it is a school elected job but still) I thin I am just ready for a break and I know this person prolly is as well.. I mean I must get on there nerves because of my shortness of temper......but it has nly been since recently that I have been getting fusterated with it .. and that is because I can only take so many put downs before I start questioning things in my life and wondering weather theyare right or not .. I don't need to be put down ... no one does.. I just wish that person understood me and why I am so angry about this ..... oh well someday they will understand.... HOPEFULLY.... | | |
| Taken Aback. If I said I was sorry would you come right back realize that I was half scared ? If I said your with me and I do not lack all the memories I hold dear? would you come here? If I spillied my guts to you told you everything I felt for you would you understand and hold me dear? even if you didn't like me that way? or would you find me a mistake? This a why I hold it in don't tell you me and or him. for fear of loosing you as a friend or fear of letting my heart give in. to happieness troubles and wildflowers. because I don't want any pain in that late hour. because to loose you would hurt almost but to loose you as a friend would hurt the most. | | |
| The new quarter has started. I feel like a whole new person than last semester. I have so much more energy, and life. It seamed like last semester made me dead to the world. I felt like I was gettting pulled ten million different directions, no way to turn. I am suprised I wasn't quartered by now. lol now I have time to wake up in the morning. It is such a nice feeling, I like being on my own and waking up to the sun and such. Maybe it is because I switched majors and that huge weight is lifted off my shoulders, or te feeling of happiness, the type of happiness that I feel when I am complety truly happy. This post is to all those single people out their.. this is proof that you don't need a boy to make you happy. Itis only up from here. | | |
| Tuesday, September 26, 2006  | the beaty within
Current mood:  contemplative
Category: Life looking through the peaks of trees, and out over the town, I twirled around and realized, how many people, when they get stressed, can go out, and climb into the painted wall of the bluffs. In rder to get where I am coming from, I need to rewind; the past couple of weeks I have been realy stressed out with Anatomy and physiology, and trying to do well in college. I neede an exscape, so we trudged and steped and hopped and grasped, just in order to get up to see the beauty that God has bestowed upon our land. So this is where I am in the story now, up ontop, releaved that we made it up there, but this wasn't the end of our journey, because as we got up to the top of our hike and to that opening, there were some 12 year old kids climbing out of a cave, I know thi is weird, but they told us that this cave was about 10 feet back and they put candles all throughout it if we wanted to go back. Well me and my roomate, beinging in an adventurous mood, decided why not. So we climbed and scraped our way up into the crevest of the cave. Then we bent ver and squeezed our way into the bow of the cave. Oh my did my heart swell when I saw the extencity of the lightly lit bow of the cave. see in the cave there were tons of creavis looking shelves, so ever two or three shelves you could see a light. this struck me as a sanctuary place, so we just sat there and stared singing-- not surprising me and chelsea sing everywhere. Feeling overwhelmed with Gods grace we started to make up songs and pray. We did that for like a half hour and realizing that we loved the relaxness we blew out all but one candle and took them for our next time there. then we wnent and layed on our blanket in the spot that we were comming to, before going in the cave. WE just studied and sat there taking in the beauty that God gave around us, and then I realized look it was hard to get to where we were sitting, and that we fret worry that we were not going to make it up there, but we got it up there and we got to see the beauty of what we worked to see. My wheels in my head began to tearn and I realized that this was life; you may stumble and you may worry but then you see that God was in charge and that we need to struggle in order to appreciate the good. that God was in charg and that I need to trust him.. Realizing that we packed up and slowly began to stumble back down the steep trail and back to reality and to the world we see below. |
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| I woke up to the sound of an old familar band playing on my alarm clock-- it was TFK. I crawled out of my bed at 7 o clock in the morning thinking about how this was going to be my last time getting up for my job this early in the morning.. I could feel the essence of change corsing through my vanes .. Looking back in life I began to think about all the memories I have had; the good memories, the bad ones. All of them nomatter if I wanted to remember them or not made me who I am today, they taught me life lessions and provieded happy times... This was me and I couldn't change it . In two short weeks I woudl be heading off to college and I would be embarking on the next chapter of my life, and I am yet to know wether that chapter will be more interesting or not..
Handing in my key to the monument place and cutting my last pizza at the ranch, not to mention saying goodbye to all the wonderfull peopel I have met-- my support system-- I began to worry, I thought to myself " what will college turn me into? Will I find another support system? Will I make it through alive and well in teh way God has planed for me?" Then I stopped, and I laughed at myself. I realised that I don't need to worry, I have God on my side and he will guide me through life. He helped me to pick out the college I now have come to love, he put infront o fme the people I have grown closer to .. HE HAS BEEN THERE for me throught the good and the bad. I don't need to worry ..
So to all the people I have met.. I love you dearly and I will miss you this next year, BUT I shal not say goodbye, mearly SEE YOU LATER because I want to leave it opened to meeting you and hanging out with you again .. I don't want to close that door completly .. so I shal leave you with one thing..
<+3 SEE YOU LATER >> I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH! <+3 | | |
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