jesusisa_supperbean's Xanga

noticing pet peves

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 18:27:15 GMT

I realized that I realy hate it when people are control freeks. I mean I knew that when people got overcontroling that it got anoying but I never realy thought about how much i realy dispise it till now. I mean when people try to control everything, it makes others feel like they are not good enough to do anything. I mean take my dinner for example. I was trying to make eggs for me and someone I knew ... . names will be excluded..... and this person kept critiquing every little thing that I did, until finaly I said do you want to cook them? that person was like yeah kind of ... so I was just like fine do it .... and walked away .. only to hear her say that htey werw runny and such, even though they are not done yet.. I was like you know what if you dont' liek them then throw them out and start over. I mean it wasn't like I was doing anything to this persons standards anyway... THen this person decided taht they were not huhngry and didn't even make any for themself and that made me realy mad ... becasue a.. they need to eat and b... if youwere not gong to make any for yourself then you should have left my cooking of my eggs up to me...... ugh it makes me so fusterated to not do anything right... I got that enough fromhome do I realy quite frankly need it here .. NO .... I realy hate the fact that I think that way about everything but it is just how I am. I am sorry if I got short tempered about he whole situation but it is in ever aspect of my life .... EVEN when I am doing MY job and I am the only person who is doing that JOB not anybody else.. This person will tell me that they are not done right or that theyar enot done good enough ... and then I will have to sit there and take it from that person because they are higher up in the job force.... ( no its not a real job it is a school elected job but still) I thin I am just ready for a break and I know this person prolly is as well.. I mean I must get on there nerves because of my shortness of temper......but it has nly been since recently that I have been getting fusterated with it .. and that is because I can only take so many put downs before I start questioning things in my life and wondering weather theyare right or not .. I don't need to be put down ... no one does.. I just wish that person understood me and why I am so angry about this ..... oh well someday they will understand.... HOPEFULLY....

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sun, 11 Feb 2007 17:21:03 GMT

Taken Aback.

If I said I was sorry would you come right back

realize that I was half scared ?

If I said your with me and I do not lack

all the memories I hold dear?

would you come here?

If I spillied my guts to you told you everything I felt for you

would you understand and hold me dear?

even if you didn't like me that way?

or would you find me a mistake?

This a why I hold it in

don't tell you me and or him.

for fear of loosing you as a friend

or fear of letting my heart give in.

to happieness troubles and wildflowers.

because I don't want any pain in that late hour.

because to loose you would hurt almost

but to loose you as a friend would hurt the most.

Relief in the Rebirth

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 15:18:35 GMT

The new quarter has started. I feel like a whole new person than last semester. I have so much more energy, and life. It seamed like last semester made me dead to the world. I felt like I was gettting pulled ten million different directions, no way to turn. I am suprised I wasn't quartered by now. lol now I have time to wake up in the morning. It is such a nice feeling, I like being on my own and waking up to the sun and such. Maybe it is because I switched majors and that huge weight is lifted off my shoulders, or te feeling of happiness, the type of happiness that I feel when I am complety truly happy. This post is to all those single people out their.. this is proof that you don't need a boy to make you happy. Itis only up from here.

THE BEAUTY WITHIN

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 14:23:17 GMT

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

the beaty within
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

looking through the peaks of trees, and out over the town, I twirled around and realized, how many people, when they get stressed, can go out, and climb into the painted wall of the bluffs. In rder to get where I am coming from, I need to rewind; the past couple of weeks I have been realy stressed out with Anatomy and physiology, and trying to do well in college. I neede an exscape, so we trudged and steped and hopped and grasped, just in order to get up to see the beauty that God has bestowed upon our land.

So this is where I am in the story now, up ontop, releaved that we made it up there, but this wasn't the end of our journey, because as we got up to the top of our hike and to that opening, there were some 12 year old kids climbing out of a cave, I know thi is weird, but they told us that this cave was about 10 feet back and they put candles all throughout it if we wanted to go back. Well me and my roomate, beinging in an adventurous mood, decided why not. So we climbed and scraped our way up into the crevest of the cave. Then we bent ver and squeezed our way into the bow of the cave. Oh my did my heart swell when I saw the extencity of the lightly lit bow of the cave. see in the cave there were tons of creavis looking shelves, so ever two or three shelves you could see a light. this struck me as a sanctuary place, so we just sat there and stared singing-- not surprising me and chelsea sing everywhere. Feeling overwhelmed with Gods grace we started to make up songs and pray. We did that for like a half hour and realizing that we loved the relaxness we blew out all but one candle and took them for our next time there. then we wnent and layed on our blanket in the spot that we were comming to, before going in the cave. WE just studied and sat there taking in the beauty that God gave around us, and then I realized look it was hard to get to where we were sitting, and that we fret worry that we were not going to make it up there, but we got it up there and we got to see the beauty of what we worked to see. My wheels in my head began to tearn and I realized that this was life; you may stumble and you may worry but then you see that God was in charge and that we need to struggle in order to appreciate the good. that God was in charg and that I need to trust him..

Realizing that we packed up and slowly began to stumble back down the steep trail and back to reality and to the world we see below.

reflections on a Young Adults mind

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 20:17:13 GMT

I woke up to the sound of an old familar band playing on my alarm clock-- it was TFK. I crawled out of my bed at 7 o clock in the morning thinking about how this was going to be my last time getting up for my job this early in the morning.. I could feel the essence of change corsing through my vanes .. Looking back in life I began to think about all the memories I have had; the good memories, the bad ones. All of them nomatter if I wanted to remember them or not made me who I am today, they taught me life lessions and provieded happy times... This was me and I couldn't change it . In two short weeks I woudl be heading off to college and I would be embarking on the next chapter of my life, and I am yet to know wether that chapter will be more interesting or not..

Handing in my key to the monument place and cutting my last pizza at the ranch, not to mention saying goodbye to all the wonderfull peopel I have met-- my support system-- I began to worry, I thought to myself " what will college turn me into? Will I find another support system? Will I make it through alive and well in teh way God has planed for me?" Then I stopped, and I laughed at myself. I realised that I don't need to worry, I have God on my side and he will guide me through life. He helped me to pick out the college I now have come to love, he put infront o fme the people I have grown closer to .. HE HAS BEEN THERE for me throught the good and the bad. I don't need to worry ..

So to all the people I have met.. I love you dearly and I will miss you this next year, BUT I shal not say goodbye, mearly SEE YOU LATER because I want to leave it opened to meeting you and hanging out with you again .. I don't want to close that door completly .. so I shal leave you with one thing..

<+3 SEE YOU LATER >> I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH! <+3

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 21:56:05 GMT

THINKGS I HAVE LEARNED AT MONUMENT..

No matter how many times you clean a window it will get dirty.
New cobwebs form every night . .
If a strange sailsmen comes into the place and Proceeds to show you how it cleans the carpet, and windows and is resistant to fog and streeks, Laugh quietly behind your desk as the secretary trys to get him to leave..
Newspaper helps take streeks off windows when using windex.
If your boss tells you that you have been to a place before, more than likely you haven't .
When you need Dave the sandblast guy he will not be there.
In order to get Daves attention hit him with a broom ..
When you go to pick u[p a check for them make sure the person is there.
You clean when the boss is not there and ONLY when the boss is there ..
There are Three different type of Stamps at the monument DON'T get them screwed up.
Finaly NO there isn't a LIVE rodant housed in one of the monunment buildings JEFF LIED.. ! but they got free food out of the deal..

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 22:06:53 GMT

Our Generation Is Dammed to Hell

I am sick and tierd of pepole making our class lose ther way with God; making our class fail , and become doomed to HELL! I am sick of them bringing us-- THE GOD TRUSTING BELIEVERS!-- down with them. ( I am not saying it is all there falt there) I am sick of seeing them win and the good people loose! I AM SICK OF IT!!

I hat eseeing, time after time, people get hurt from others mistakes,; to see time after tim those peopple try to kill themselves because they were nice and there significant other/ best friend decidet to break it off after messing with their EMOTIONS, ruining there SELF ESSTEEM, and brining out there INSECURITIES.

I am sick of seeing people not get accepted for who they are , or people killing otheres because they can't stand the pain. I can't stand people getting DRUNK or having SEX or doing All of those things whild at a CHURCH!!

I hate hearing that more and more people li8ve in BROKEN HOMES that mor eand more kids ger LEFT, BEATEN, RAPED, and NEGLECTED every year.

WHO EVER SAID "HEY LETS STOP CARING"?

Did you know that the highest leading reaction to these feelings are CUTTING? yeah self mutalation is almost higher tahn committing suicide. Did you know more and mroe teenagers are becomming pregnant? did you know taht all around us, our FRIENDS, PEERS, our ROLLMODLES are surcoming to a life in HELL?

I'm not saying that we should shun these people and make them issolated from society. I am not saying that we should kill them; but are YOU going to just stand there and watch them die? Watch us get taken down with them? How are you going to live with yourself, knowing that they are burning in HELL? wahta are you going to do? well I know I am going to

TAKE A S.T.A.N.D.

S. stay

T. true

A. answering

N. no to

D. death in HELL!

Comon take a S.T.A.N.D.

Edit: For those of you who don't understand I will explain in the sence that I don't think we should condem those who sin, because we all sin, but I am saying I am sick of watching people sin, of wathgin my firends fall away from God .. I want to try and help.. I said to a friend that I would rather have the satisfaction of knowing I tried to help thean the dissapointment knowing I did nothing.. I am not God but I want to serve him..

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 14:16:31 GMT

ODE TO THE FOURTH!

Today is the fourth of july

I know I won't go and get high

but maybe I will light a fierwork or two

pretending I am at the zoo.

For today is the celibration of independence

but in Iraq we decided to re-condem them

becaue in our world we are always right

if people don't believe us, we will put up a fight.

So all hail the stripes of red and white.

and bow down to the blue,

for life in this country is like living without a clue.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 04:27:40 GMT

This has been edited for Gabe the grammar wiz.....

I feel Like I have passed a milestone recently in my life. I have felt so weighted down lately, and everything feels like my resposiblity, especialy with a friend of mine; but, this time I feel like that huge weight is lifted off of my shoulders and that we now have been the closet ever as friends. I know it seams kinda cheese but, just being ablle to speek out peace and get caught up on what we missed out on when I was busy being stupid was nice. I also feel Like I got ove the big milestone for college because I registered for classes ;thus, meaning that I am now able to say I officialy belong to WSU. The third burden was also lifted on that saturday because I managed to be girly all day and not realy feel out of place, I know you who all know me are shocked, because I don't normaly dress likea girl, but I did and no it wasn't dress pants, I wore a skirt! yeah sounds fun. I felt, for the first time in my life, that I could actualy pull off the girly look. I know that life seames tough every once in a while, but I konw that God is there for me--he is there for you. I am just glad that he helped me to cross over to the other side of the road on these topics-- I thank him. Well taht is it for now. I hope you like this post Gabe, because I wrote well for you.

<+3

JIAS

Monday, June 12, 2006

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 23:05:08 GMT

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